One of the most oddly-conceived movies ever made, and one I’ve had some personal interest in watching for a long time.

What’s It About? A civilian pilot, Mark Curran, meets a scientist on the run from the military, who tells him about a deadly conspiracy that could affect the entire Earth – and gives him the power to defeat it with the high-tech combat machine, G-Saviour.

STRAIGHT UP: A fascinating example of Murphy’s Law in action. 0.5/5

What I Liked

The G-Saviour – As illustrated by master mechanical artist Kunio Okawara, the G-Saviour is a handsome design with some cool gimmicks. It would have gotten more love if it had appeared in a proper anime production.

Battle on the colony mirror – This was a pretty good duel sequence that actually got my blood pumping a little bit.

The CGI – For its time, and given the film’s budget, the CGI on display here is okay. It’s no worse than what you’d expect to see in an episode of Battlestar Galactica. Besides, I find this kind of late ’90s CGI almost charming.

What I Disliked

Don’t say it – While it’s not abundantly clear within the film itself, G-Saviour was meant to be an official new chapter in Japan’s endlessly popular Gundam franchise. However, the word “Gundam” is not spoken even once, nor is it ever displayed onscreen, betraying a serious lack of confidence in the project.

Table scraps – Sunrise is one of the largest and most successful studio groups in Japan, but apparently couldn’t spare any budget for this project. Outsourced to an anonymous American production company, the made-for-TV film features no-name Canadian actors and hilariously recycles costumes and props from 1997’s Starship Troopers.

Hack writing – Did the person who wrote this study the basics of screenwriting at all? Had they ever even tried to write a screenplay before? I strongly suspect the answer is “no” on both counts.

Mark Curran – While Brennan Elliott is arguably the only actor here who knows what he’s doing, he’s stuck playing an unfortunate character. Mark alternates between wishy-washy cowardice and smug jackassery, and I couldn’t stand him for a second.

Mimi Devere – This character doesn’t make any damn sense! She’s part of an atrocious love triangle subplot, and is seemingly devoted to Mark – but later, she betrays him and commits the most heinously evil act in the film for laughably weak reasons. Then, 10 minutes after that, she’s making a play for redemption, as if anyone cares. Unbelievable.

The villains – As uninspired as they come. Jack is the kind of deranged lunatic who’s so eager to kill his own men that it’s hard to believe he’s in command of anything. Meanwhile, Gen. Garneaux is out to destroy world-saving technology for… reasons.

It’s boring – With just one action set-piece, most of the movie is spent mired in conversations about agriculture and bio-luminescence, making even the brisk 90-minute run time feel like an eternity.

The Illuminati – I’m embarrassed that a plot point in an official Gundam production revolves around the existence of an actual Illuminati.

CLOSING THOUGHT: It’s hard to believe, but this was one of two projects commissioned for the 20th anniversary of the Gundam franchise, and the first one ever to be produced in North America. If this was the beginning of a plan to make Gundam a truly international franchise, then someone vastly underestimated what U.S. audiences would accept. As it is, this bizarre bastard child of a film is one of the most unsatisfying experiences I’ve had, and no future attempt to watch it should be made by anyone without the assistance of alcohol.

For anyone who has read this far and still wants to see this movie, find it here for however long the link lasts. Good luck.