In observance of this weekend’s WWE Royal Rumble – traditionally one of pro wrestling’s biggest events of the year – I’ve decided to review this infamous film.
What’s It About? After their favorite wrestler is betrayed by his manager and loses the championship belt, two dim-witted fanboys set out to meet their hero and help him take the title back.
STRAIGHT UP: So awful, its failures transcend the film. 1/10
I watched this movie just to say I did. Now I’m reviewing it for the same reason.
What’s It About? A third-rate talk show host and his producer start out with a plan to air a live interview with Kim Jong-un, and end up as part of a secret government mission to assassinate him.
STRAIGHT UP: Not especially insightful or funny. 5.5/10
Not too many people need convincing for this one, but just in case…
What’s It About? A child prodigy assembles a team of genius college students (and one robot) to track down a mysterious villain wielding dangerous new technology.
STRAIGHT UP: Good all around, but too tightly-packed. 8.5/10
Lots of low-key hype turned this into a must-see for me.
What’s It About? When the son of a Russian crime boss steals his car and kills his dog, retired assassin John Wick sets out on a quest for revenge.
STRAIGHT UP: I loved it. Razor-sharp storytelling and action. 9.5/10
Lots of talented people in on this one. Had to give it a shot.
What’s It About? A reluctant bullfighter, Manolo Sanchez, travels to the land of the dead in search of a way to protect his hometown and win the heart of the woman he loves.
STRAIGHT UP: All style, no substance. 5.5/10
I’m not a religious man, but I make a point of seeing Nicolas Cage films.
What’s It About? When the Rapture causes millions of people worldwide to spontaneously disappear, those left behind – including airliner pilot Rayford Steele – find themselves in perilous situations.
STRAIGHT UP: Poorly made and void of interest. I hated it. 1/10
An interesting movie emerges from September’s box-office hell. Time to check it out.
What’s It About? Trapped in an unknown location, Thomas and friends must escape to the outside world by navigating a shape-shifting maze full of dangerous creatures.
STRAIGHT UP: Exciting at times, but lacks staying power. 6.5/10
An evening with Eva Green seemed like a good remedy for boredom.
What’s It About? Dwight, Johnny, Marv, and Nancy face their demons in a city full of violence, corruption, booze, and loose women.
STRAIGHT UP: Neither inspiring nor awful. 6/10
A special review for a limited-release theatrical event.
What’s It About? A wandering god seeks a legendary opponent – and if Goku can’t rise to the challenge, it could mean the destruction of Earth!
STRAIGHT UP: A decent addition to the DBZ legend. 7/10
In my brief time as a film critic blogger, I have never been so eager to see a movie as this one.
What’s It About? Five misfit spacefarers are forced to join together to defend the galaxy from an unimaginable power.
STRAIGHT UP: Nearly perfect Flash Gordon/Star Wars-style sci-fi. 9.5/10
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