Jupiter Ascending

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An ambitious original sci-fi project from the Wachowskis was bound to be a big hit or an entertaining failure.

What’s It About? When ordinary girl Jupiter Jones discovers that she is the heiress to the Queen of Earth, she and her new bodyguard Caine must travel across the universe and fend off deadly foes in order to claim her birthright.

STRAIGHT UP: A beautiful disaster, sure to be an ironic cult classic. 7/10

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Ready to Rumble – Retro Review

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In observance of this weekend’s WWE Royal Rumble – traditionally one of pro wrestling’s biggest events of the year – I’ve decided to review this infamous film.

What’s It About? After their favorite wrestler is betrayed by his manager and loses the championship belt, two dim-witted fanboys set out to meet their hero and help him take the title back.

STRAIGHT UP: So awful, its failures transcend the film. 1/10

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The Interview

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I watched this movie just to say I did. Now I’m reviewing it for the same reason.

What’s It About? A third-rate talk show host and his producer start out with a plan to air a live interview with Kim Jong-un, and end up as part of a secret government mission to assassinate him.

STRAIGHT UP: Not especially insightful or funny. 5.5/10

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