I swear this isn’t a superhero movie.

This is a TRADITIONAL REVIEW, so full text after the break.

Captain Fantastic is nowhere near as good as its title implies. Though the film is visually well-composed and features a standout performance by Viggo Mortensen, these things aren’t enough to make up for its irritating tone, dishonest presentation, and uninteresting narrative.

The plot centers around Mortensen as Ben Cash, an outdoorsman who lives “off the grid” in the Pacific Northwest with his six children, raising them on a regimen of survival training and anti-capitalist philosophy. When Ben receives tragic news from his estranged sister, he is compelled to go with his family on a journey to New Mexico, all the while facing off against what he perceives as the perils of modern society.

The film makes a great first impression, showing off gorgeous visuals while making a strong emotional case for its characters. When Ben and the children hit the road in their beat-up old school bus, it’s a moment of triumph and anticipation. However, the good times don’t last, as the film is clearly more interested in pushing its own self-satisfied agenda than in telling any kind of story. Anywhere that Ben and co. stop along the way, they are forced into various confrontations with “the man” – i.e. ordinary members of capitalist society – but none of these interactions cause them to question themselves, result in any kind of lasting consequences, or otherwise do anything to create an interesting narrative. Instead, their function is to demonstrate that Ben’s lifestyle and philosophies are absolutely correct, and to implicitly shame the “unenlightened” members of the audience in turn. The whole road trip is essentially wasted on making straw-man arguments, since literally every other person in these scenes is some ridiculous combination of obese, vapid, cowardly, or cruel. There’s no cause for anyone to feel either excited or introspective here.

The film even manages to contradict its own message when it reveals that for all his talk about self-sufficiency and “sticking it to ‘the man’,” Ben has always had access to financial support from his father-in-law, an old-money type with an enormous mansion. As it turns out, Ben and his children were never at risk of suffering any real hardship – a fatal oversight in the screenplay that completely robs it of any feeling of authenticity.

Leaving those issues aside, Captain Fantastic also loses credit for taking a ton of narrative shortcuts. Potential character arcs for the children are introduced, only to be hand-waved away by the third act. Certain story elements – for example, the threat of police – and certain characters’ behaviors – the father-in law, in particular – are treated inconsistently. The climax of the second act arguably should have been reworked into the conclusion, and the transition to the third act feels incredibly contrived.

Maybe because it’s so messy, the film’s set-piece comedic and emotional beats never really landed for me. There’s an extended awkward-humor scene about halfway through that just made me feel embarrassed for everyone involved. Later, for reasons I won’t spoil, the children sing a soft rendition of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (yes, the Guns N’ Roses song) in a moment that I could tell was meant to be sweet and heartfelt, but that I couldn’t take seriously because of how fucking corny it was.

Through it all, though, the film’s constant saving grace is Mortensen, whose performance is so powerful and affecting that I was occasionally able to look past all of my criticisms, and just feel for a character that I otherwise reflexively disliked. If everything else on screen had felt so natural and persuasive, then Captain Fantastic might have actually been fantastic.

RATING: 2/5